The following work of flash fiction is in collaboration with my fellow blogger Jithin of Pho Trablogger .The picture that you see above ,is his creative photography which inspired this piece of fiction writing . Please click HERE and provide your valuable feedback on this picture. Also you can check out his blog for more wonderful pictures and travel related posts….I am sure you will enjoy them …
I have written the PART 3 OF this flash fiction , here are the links to the first two parts for you to read before your read my part of the story 😉
Now here is the PART 3 , written by me … READ ON :
James was exhausted , after the events of the day , yet sleep eluded him . He tried to force his eyes shut , but his thoughts once again returned to Tracy ,their baby ,the job……. A drop of tear escaped from one corner of his eye . He could feel Tracy’s warm body huddled against his own .
Then , all of sudden , his pent up emotions gave away . His muffled sobs , soon woke Tracy up and she turned to him . ‘Jimmy …what happened..?’ , she asked , turning on the bedroom lamp.
As they both sat upright on the bed , James hugged Tracy tight and wept like a woman . ‘I am sorry Tracy…I wanted to keep you happy…I know you are not….’ , he mumbled , in his shaky voice . ‘Jimmy look at me…’ she said , pointing towards her baby bump , ‘You think you have seen me any happier than this ?’ , ‘Jimmy you are the best thing that ever happened to me ,and so is this baby. I couldn’t ask for any more happiness !’ , she said , assertively , a drop of tear , glistening like pearl in one corner of her eye..
James was quiet now… he held out Tracy’s hand in his , and kissed it..
The next morning , after breakfast , Tracy walked up to James , who was staring outside the window of their humble dwelling , and placed something in his palms . It was the ring . James felt a piercing pain in his heart , as if someone had stabbed him with a knife ,and he shouted in the same vain , ‘Tracy…I told you … Are you trying to humiliate me ..?’
Tracy was taken aback by James anger , and stared at him , her large brown eyes , welled with tears , shimmered in the sunlight . ‘I..’ she began..’James , I did not …you know how important this job is… And you can always buy it back for me..or maybe something even more beautiful..’ , she said , trying to look cheerful .
Her last sentence seemed to offer some consolation to James and the warmth in her voice melted away his anger. . He smiled and bent down to kiss her . Just then , there was a knock on the door.
By the time James dragged his feet to the door and opened it , the mail man was gone , but there was an envelope lying at his feet . Puzzled , he picked it up . Then closing the door behind him , he walked back into the living room where he had left Tracy standing .
Tracy hurried to his side and enquired about the envelope. ‘I don’t know…’ James looked as confused as she was herself. As he slit open the envelope , his eyes grew wide in surprise , and Tracy gave out a loud shriek of excitement, at what she saw inside . It was a check , in his name…
James couldn’t control his happiness , yet he was inquisitive at the same time…’Who was this well wisher ..?’ he wondered . Just then Tracy pointed to the floor and exclaimed , ‘Look..there is a letter !’
James looked in the direction to which her finger was pointing… There lying on the floor was a small piece of paper with some writing on it… ‘I must have dropped it , while removing the check from the envelope.’ , thought James to himself , as he picked up the note and started reading the contents..
Dear James ,
You cannot gauge my happiness ever since I learnt that Tracy was in the family way . I am so happy for you and Tracy and so eager to meet the new member of your family . I remember you telling me yesterday that you have a job offer from that firm in the East . I can not began to imagine the kind of responsibilities you need to take upon yourself , in the coming future . And I know you are capable of doing so yourself. You have proved to be a loving husband to Tracy and I know you will be a doting father to the little one too… But , having been your best man ,it is my right to make you this gift , as a token of our friendship, and also as a small reciprocation for all the times you have got me out of trouble ! Hope you will accept it in the same spirit…
Love and warm regards
Mark
Love is rocky at best the twists and turns will always be, I’m glad you used it’s twists and turns it’s adds so much of what is can’t wait to read more
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Thank you , hope you have seen the links to the remaining parts, written by other talented bloggers in the comment section , in the form of ping backs…. 🙂 Keep visiting !
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Yes I was reading in the we hours this morning. But I couldn’t get to the last part. Boo ho
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Oh..I think it is out…will send you the link if you haven’t seen it 🙂
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Oh my…
Drama into the story..!!! 😀
I am thinking to take a movie on the same..!!!
Good fiction ..!!! 🙂
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haha ! Thank you 😉 long time no see…. happy weekend !
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I am an amateur 😛 and not a pro like you…!!! 😀 ..!!!
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hey are you being sarcastic in anyway 😛 You know am an amateur too !
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You amateur…!!!!!…????? 😮 ..!!
Then, I will have to redefine “amateur” ..!!!
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huh ??…but I am
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whatever, but you write nice 🙂
n keep going..!!!! 🙂
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Aww..thank you :)so do you ! Write more often…
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Ya, I have to..but it’s difficult to move my lazy bones :p
Anyways, you keep writing well 🙂 there are lots of people reading 😉 ..
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haha ! thank you so much for your motivating words…it has made my day 😀
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The credit is all yours 🙂
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oh my !!! what can I say… I think you are being far too kind… 😉
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No no no… This is honesty I must say.. 🙂
I never figure myself to be a kind person..!! 😀 I am way off the road 😀
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hmmm…well then I will take it happily 😀
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The pleasure is all mine 🙂 😀
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🙂 😛 😀
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I may need some professional advice one day..!! 😀 k …
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I just went through your latest post and realized you were lying form the start… You are in no way an amateur..at least not when it comes to playing with words 😀
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Lying????? 😮 .. Oh no never, seriously I am not much of a writer or something.. I never dedicate my self to write or even jot down something; I am that variant breed of laziness :p .. That’s all 🙂 anyways but I am really happy of the motivation and responses I get from here 🙂 and I am planning to write more; if I can put down words… 🙂
Thank you so much fellow Malabarite 😀 .. your comments made my whole week bright..!! 🙂 thank you lots 🙂
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my pleasure 🙂
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Thanks 🙂
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Don’t keep thanking me ! There will be no end to this conversation then 😛
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Oh ok ok…
A big big big huge thank you finally..!! 😀
Stay in touch and keep writing.. 🙂
Be good…
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haha ! you are incorrigible ! yes..i will stay in touch and i will try to keep writing 😀 But the same thing goes for you too..keep writing..Happy christmas in advance 🙂 Take care…( by the way I am always good 😉 )
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Happy X’mas and a beautiful New Year too 🙂
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I enjoyed all the parts so much and it is going great guns. I can try to write next part once I come back from my ladies meet in the evening. Can’t miss it you know. Hopefully someone should take on the challenge by then. It is so much fun 🙂
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Thank you so much dear…In my hurry I had committed in error which I have now edited , do go through it once again before you write the next part 🙂
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Haha I contonued with your error.
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Here is my story Part 4
http://soulnspiritblog.com/2014/12/19/when-in-love-part-4-a-flash-fiction-chain/
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All the parts have come out so well…the story has got me hooked…!!! I wonder where Tracy is now… 🙂
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Thanks a lot for the visit and yes everyone wants to know about that 🙂
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Thank you vidya 🙂
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Wonderful…nicely written! But…. Part 1 and part 2 shows grandpa is dead at time of her pregnancy… Maybe a little editing would suffice …. You have talent dear!! Great work. 🙂
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Thank you so much for your timely corrections ! I messed it up big time…I don’t know how I missed out such a major detail , right in the beginning of your story…Have edited it now…hope its fine now..Thanks also for your motivating words ! 🙂
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I am glad u went back to edit! Perfectly done!! U are gooood.
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Thank you 🙂
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Haha.. it is getting dramatic! You are good at adding drama to the story 😀
Well did he cry like a ‘baby’?! 😉
Thank you for the quick response as always 🙂 lets see what happens to the bike now!
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Haha ! was confused…should he cry like a baby or woman ! but chose the latter..should I make it baby..?? thanks..Hope you liked the ‘drama’ 😛 Yes ,I want to know that too ..about the bike…
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I don’t know. It is upto you author. Maybe someone can find it as an attractive point to have a debate 😀 You can keep it if you want and see how it goes 😀
Yes.. I liked the dramatic events 😀
let me find out who is going to write the next part!
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I think I will change it then……
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or may be not..wept like a women ! not bad 😛
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haha.. a little bit controversy is nice 😛
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hey can you go through my post again , fiction limbo pointed out one error which I have now edited… (perhaps you noticed too but were too polite to mention ! 😉 )Jame’s grandpa was already dead and it was clear right from the first para of Part 1 . Guess in my hurry to finish the story on time , I overlooked this ‘major’ event which obviously changes a lot of things…though I have tried to minimize the editing….
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Why didn’t you just make it grandmom 😉
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haha ! actually the way it was portrayed in the ist part , looks like the grandpa who his last relative alive and he left him the bike , the only thing he inherited from him..which means the grandma was obviously dead long ago 😛 Mark was also mentioned in the first part…so I thought it would be fine..may be the one who writes this story after this can narrate the details of how was indebted to James for some help he may have extended to him in the past…………
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Yep. Now I realised the complexities of the situation. Anyway using Mark is a smart move. 🙂
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Anyway Mark Saved you. Thanks to Mark. Good thinking 🙂
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😀
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