‘When you become a mother yourself , you will realize !’ …Oh well , isn’t this a cliché all of us , girls have grown up listening to ?
I always saw it as an exaggerated usage of an over emotional mother , who doesn’t find any other way to support her arguments and uses this as her last resort , the ‘mother’ bomb ! ( I always felt motherhood was so overrated back then ! )
But now , I am not so sure …. Today as a mother to an almost four year old daughter , I find myself repeating a lot of my mom’s statements (much to my own embarrassment !).
Here are a few points I would have perhaps covered in my defense against my mother’s over protective demeanor , when I was a teenager :
1. Mom , I am not cold and I don’t need that scarf to spoil my hair style !
2. I am big enough to go out on my own.
3. I am not raising my voice .. I am only conveying my point.
4. I will decide what shoes go with my dress…and anyway your fashion sense doesn’t agree with mine !
5. I am not hungry right now so please stop coaxing me to eat.
6. I will cross the road carefully , you don’t have to say it all the time !
7. Stop holding me by hand in public , I can walk on my own so stop embarrassing me !
8. I will prepare well for my exams so please don’t nag me ..
9. Yes…I am a little late , but it is still not dark .
10.Mom I am going out to a birthday party , and I will ‘not’ talk to strangers !
Today when I remember those things I argued about , I no longer understand them… Perhaps I am ageing …or perhaps because I am mom now !
Today , when I don’t see my little girl around the house , my heart skips a beat . If her school van is a little late , my mind starts racing and imagining the worst . When I take her out , excited to dress her up the way I want , she tells me ‘Ma…I don’t want to wear this dress‘ and brings me the one she wants to wear …
Sometimes , when she refuses to listen to me , warm tears fill my eyes…… and I realize the turn of the tide……the reversal of roles…….
Here are the answers I am prepared to give my daughter , if she brings out the list , I once prepared myself ,as a teenager….:
1. Little darling , your hairstyle can be fixed again , but I can’t risk the same with your health .
2. No matter how big you ‘become’, or how many grand children you go on to have , you shall always be my little toddler , and I will always feel protective about you……
3. If I am not raising my voice with you , so shouldn’t you….We shall talk , not argue…
4. Oh yes , you have a great fashion sense , but so did I when I was your age …
5. I know you are not hungry but am sure you will be , in sometime . I am just being selfish , because it hurts me to imagine you hungry !
6. I know you will cross the road carefully , but it satisfies me to advise you , time and again. So just bear with me !
7. I know you are a grown up girl now and don’t need my hand…but I need you to hold mine , just to feel secure …
8. Yes , you do prepare your lessons on your own but asking you to do so repeatedly makes me feel I am a responsible mother , interested in your affairs .
9. It is alright to be late but do let me know about your whereabouts so that I don’t keep worrying about your safety .
10 Oh , you can talk to strangers if you want , but keep the phone with you all the time . So that I feel I am close to you …
Well….I guess that’s life …What goes around ,comes around …….