Trials and tribulations

Life is always so unpredictable ! Well , at least when you are a soldier’s wife all the more . Many of my friends have asked me how I handle being so far away from my better  half , so frequently , when they cannot  even imagine a day without their’s . Well I think life teaches you a lot of things the hard way…

When I was a newly wed army wife (or lady wife as referred to in the army ! ), I had similar opinions as them . I was a naive girl , who was afraid to stay all alone in  a house , or even travel by myself ! I was brought up in a metro city , yet I hadn’t really ventured out to far away places on my own …

Yet , today things have changed…I have traveled alone to far off places , even on International trips with a two year old toddler , dangling by my side . I have  now stayed alone , for nights in old , dilapidated bungalows (that belonged to the Nizam’s army ) and stayed without talking to my Husband for days (owing to poor mobile connectivity ! ).

I would be lying  , if I were to say I am not afraid anymore. I am still afraid , still jittery , but I have learnt to face my fears now .  One’s success is not in being ‘unafraid’ but in being aware of one’s fears and preparing to conquer them .

I guess , in the Army  life we do not have a choice . Sometimes if you want to be with your husband , even if it means only for a short while , you are willing to go that extra mile , just to see that smile on the face of your daughter /son  , when she/he meets her dad and vice versa .

Every time I go through a long , tiresome journey  to meet him , my heart is  filled with excitement and happiness , and in the face of these emotions , the weaker emotions like fear , nervousness and discomfort take a back seat .

Some of my friends belonging to a civilian life (as in non army background )  , call me brave , to have married an army officer . But honestly , I am not being brave , I am just adapting… and so will anybody else in my place.

Every human being had this innate instinct to adapt to his/her surroundings and this adaptability is essential for survival . So no matter what situation one is in , there is always a way out , if not , we can create it .

Most of modern day inventions and innovations today are a result of this adapation . It is the very life force that makes a drowning man , hold on to the next available thing to cling on to , so that he can keep afloat .

This life force is present in all of us , just that many of us do not realize it and give up on things quickly. It is when life gets tough , that we realize our true strengths , our capabilities. Of course it does depend from one person to another , as to how you emerge at the end of the hurricane . Some break down , while others grow stronger and more resilient .

Being an army officer’s wife it will , without doubt be the latter .

The other day I was watching the interview of an army wife , who lost her husband , in a military operation  an year ago . What I saw in her eyes were not , tears of a  dejected woman who was now a widow , rather a sense of immense pride  and fortitude that would have moved even the hardest of hearts . She was smiling and eloquent through out  and the nation salutes her stoicism.

She didn’t choose her destiny , especially when she had a four year old daughter by her side , yet she faced it with dignity. She rose from the ashes , much like the mythical Phoenix  , with a vengeance . 

From where does she draw her strength..? How did she manage to keep such a cheerful disposition ,in the face of such  heart wrenching  trauma . Now , that is what I call the life force . The inner strength , that guides all , yet only a few care to listen .

 Everyone has their fears , their problems , their anxieties , but do not let these conquer you , instead , learn to cheat them and be a winner . .. I am still on my way ..

Here is a link to that interview if you want to have a look . It is truly inspiring…….. :

 http://www.ndtv.com/video/player/the-buck-stops-here/india-should-see-the-man-mukund-was-not-my-sorrow-martyr-s-wife-to-ndtv/354130?pfrom=nri_videowidget_cat_5