Just a memory………

A few days ago a college mate of mine (I hadn’t been in touch with him ever since we last met about five years back ) passed away …but it was no accident . He killed himself ….

I was shocked to hear the news , more so because I could not imagine some one as intelligent as him to do something like this to himself . Since I don’t want to reveal his real name , let me refer to him as SG .

SG was a student of English literature . We both were pursuing the B.ed degree (Bachelor of Education ) , and used to be the ones to anchor most shows and other cultural events , that were held in college .

When I first saw SG , I thought (and so did many of my other friends ) he was just an arrogant and haughty young lad , who was a little too proud of his language skills . But it took me only a few interactions with him , to reveal to me that he was none of the above .

SG was a poet and philosopher . He was a reserved person and his closed nature was often mistaken for arrogance . He would just sit and stare into oblivion , or at the vast expanse of the sky , in the midst of a conversation .

Once we even attended an Arts festival representing our college , and both of us won accolades in our respective fields . But in all our conversations , SG never really opened up about his personal life or problems , not once . He did have his share of financial problems but was never really frank about them . I knew it , because he borrowed some money from me once , which he returned without ado .

 I remember there was a time he fell seriously ill , during the course , but returned with a bang !  In fact , a lot of us failed to recognize him when he  returned from the hospital  – in place of his lean , pale self was a much heavier and rosier version of SG  . But cheerful all the same …

But that was him ..his spirited self…Anyone in his place , might have abandoned the course but he did not … He returned and finished it .

Oh , and I didn’t tell you another thing about him . SG had an inter- religious love marriage , much to the distaste of the girl’s parents . But this of course happened much before he joined the B.ed course… So , he wasn’t the kind  to shy away from problems , if he was , he wouldn’t have married his lady love , against such stiff opposition….

 Hence ,when I learnt that  SG had hanged himself to the ceiling of his rented apartment , you can gauge my utter shock at the news . You might even wonder , why I was not in touch with him over these years…

Well , SG wasn’t really a ‘people’ person.. He was a loner , only  in touch  with an odd friend here and there …He was not active on any of the social media sites  either .

He was pursuing M.Phil  in the same college where he was teaching . I just cannot fathom , the depth of the problem that tormented him enough to let go . What worried him so much  that he didn’t even take his wife into confidence ?

Anyway , I have missed the details of five years of his life after the course , which is a big enough time for new problems to have come into his life . But what irks me is the fact that none of his close friends , could guess the workings of his poetic mind …

His death does raise one important questions about our society today . Have we all become so preoccupied with our own lives , that we fail to notice the problems of our next door neighbor or even our close friend ? Has this so called ‘virtual world’ of social media sites  , brought us far from each other than near…? Is our love for  our friends and family getting restricted to likes and comments on his pictures , which may not even be reflecting the reality of his ‘real’ life ?

Or is today’s generation too weak to handle stress? Are we so used to a cushioned lifestyle that even a slight strain in it , leads to to take steps with dire consequences….? Is our educational system to blame somewhere…?

I don’t know…perhaps I too am a victim of this era …

As for SG … I wonder if he had just talked about his problems to someone , just let it pour out , perhaps he would still have been alive …here in this world…and not just in our memories…



The following work of flash fiction is in collaboration with my fellow blogger Jithin of  Pho Trablogger .The picture that you see above ,is his creative photography which inspired this piece of fiction writing . Please click HERE and provide your valuable feedback on this picture.  Also you can check out his blog for more wonderful pictures and travel related posts….I am sure you will enjoy them …

I have written the PART 3 OF this flash fiction , here are the links to the first two parts for you to read before your read my part of the story 😉

Now here is the PART 3 , written by me … READ ON :

James was exhausted , after the events of the day , yet sleep eluded him . He tried to force his eyes shut , but his thoughts once again returned to Tracy ,their baby ,the job……. A drop of tear escaped from one corner of his eye . He could feel Tracy’s warm body huddled against his own .

Then , all of sudden , his pent up emotions gave away  . His  muffled sobs , soon woke Tracy up and she turned to him . ‘Jimmy …what happened..?’ , she asked , turning on the bedroom lamp.

 As they both sat upright on the bed , James hugged Tracy tight and wept like a woman . ‘I am sorry Tracy…I wanted to keep you happy…I know you are not….’ , he mumbled , in his shaky voice . ‘Jimmy look at me…’ she said , pointing towards her baby bump , ‘You think you have seen me any happier than this ?’ , ‘Jimmy you are the best thing that ever happened to me ,and so is this baby. I couldn’t ask  for any more happiness !’ , she said , assertively , a drop of tear , glistening like pearl in one corner of her eye..

James was quiet now… he held out Tracy’s hand  in his , and kissed it..

The next morning , after breakfast , Tracy walked up to James , who was staring outside the window of their humble dwelling , and placed something in his palms . It was the ring . James felt a piercing pain in his heart , as if someone had stabbed him with a knife ,and he shouted in the same vain , ‘Tracy…I told you … Are you trying to humiliate me ..?’

 Tracy was taken aback by James anger , and stared at him , her large brown eyes , welled with tears , shimmered in the sunlight . ‘I..’ she began..’James , I did not …you know how important this job is… And you can always buy it back for me..or maybe something even more beautiful..’ , she said , trying to look cheerful .

Her last sentence seemed to offer some consolation to James and the warmth in her voice melted away his anger. . He smiled and bent down to kiss her . Just then , there was a knock on the door.

By the time James dragged his feet to the door and opened it , the mail man was gone , but there was an envelope lying at his feet . Puzzled , he picked it up . Then closing the door behind him , he walked back into the living room where he had left Tracy standing .

Tracy hurried to his side and enquired about the envelope.  ‘I don’t know…’ James looked as confused as she was herself. As he slit open the envelope , his eyes grew wide in surprise , and Tracy gave out a loud shriek of excitement, at what she saw inside  . It was a check , in his name…

James couldn’t control his happiness , yet he was inquisitive at the same time…’Who was this well wisher ..?’ he wondered . Just then Tracy pointed to the floor and exclaimed , ‘Look..there is a letter !’

James looked in the direction to which her finger was pointing… There lying on the floor was a small piece of paper with some writing on it… ‘I must have dropped it , while removing the check from the envelope.’ , thought James to himself , as he picked up the note and started reading the contents..

Dear James ,

You  cannot gauge my happiness ever since I learnt that Tracy was in the family way .  I am so happy for you and Tracy and so eager to meet the new member of your family .  I remember you telling me yesterday that you have a job offer from that firm in the East . I can not began to imagine the kind of responsibilities you need to take upon yourself , in the coming future . And I know you are capable of doing so yourself. You have proved to be a loving husband to Tracy and I know you will be a doting father to the little one too… But , having been your best man ,it is my right to make you this gift  , as a token of our friendship, and also as a small reciprocation for all the times you have got me out of trouble ! Hope you will accept it in the same spirit…

Love and warm regards


James felt a little dazed at this sudden development . It was as if a burden had lifted from his heart and he felt light again. He put down the letter on the dining table . Tracy clung to him , tears of happiness flowing down her eyes….

Then abruptly , James released himself from Tracy’s embrace and hurried towards the door…’I will be back soon…I want to thank Mark and also find out how he got this money…..’ , saying this he slammed the door behind him. Tracy  stared at the shut door and smiled …

Having reached his Mark’s home , James was about to park his bike and rush inside , when he sensed something missing and stopped in his tracks. He inspected the whole vicinity of the house , but it as nowhere to be seen . Mark’s bike was gone………………..

( Who will continue the story from here ? )