The blaring sound of the alarm clock broke the silence of my room , at five in the morning , and I shut it down ,(eyes still closed!)with the  same aggressiveness that I would use to strangle   an enemy. As its annoying sound stopped abruptly , I relaxed..my body refusing to budge from its torpid state. As I lay there for a few more minutes , I had an odd sensation…..a ridiculous one..but a feeling all the same.. I felt as though I was no longer in my body…as though my body had changed overnight , probably replaced by a more,  ummmm…mmm…. a more used ,second hand one .!!! I laughed to myself at the silly notion , and managed to finally  roll myself out of the bed. As I reached the washroom , I picked up my toothbrush and was about to apply the toothpaste onto it, when I suddenly noticed my hands…wrinkled …and skinnier ;they were not my hands..or at least they didn’t look like..!!! I was startled…..That’s when I looked at the mirror . For a few seconds ,the reflection in the mirror kept staring at me… weather beaten and a little  gnarled , that face definitely didn’t belong to me !, I thought…..But ,once those few doubtful and shocking moments were over , I recognised myself in the mirror...I looked a little wiser perhaps ,with a little more grey on my head and ”crows feet” under my eyes….but then, it WAS me alright !!!

I sat on the side of my bathtub and pondered over, how the last ten years  have flown past, at the blink of an eye.. Life had caught me off balance .A tear escaped my eyes ,at the thought of having missed my daughter’s childhood…at having lost ten years of my precious life without doing anything productive…how I wished I could get those years back and redo everything…But then ,I couldn’t…

Then , I stood up and looked at my reflection  in the mirror ,and I knew my next course of action..I will spend the weekend with my daughter …I will write that book I have been wanting to write over a decade ,but had been procrastinating…I will go out on that ‘date’ my husband asked me to yesterday, and which I had so shamelessly refused ,blaming it on my busy schedule…And then, suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by a gnawing fear  and my heart fluttered like moths around a fire…..I rushed to my phone and dialled the number and  as soon as  I heard the voice ,like a lullaby,on the other side ,I was relieved.!

”No , ma…called just like that ..felt as though its ages since we talked” said I. ”How is dad…??” I enquired…My fears were laid to rest and  I put the phone down and  slumped back on the rocking chair……rocking to and fro I decided, I will not waste another precious moment of my life…..I will my days count !!!

I haven’t aged. … those aren’t wrinkles ; they are lines, that remind me I am now wiser and more experienced..I am just born..a new and rejuvenated me…and I am going to prove it…:)


5 thoughts on “I AM JUST BORN….

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